How much time do we spend thinking about the past, other people, our hurts, our pride, and how we if we were in that situation again, how we would respond or do things differently, or we turn a blind eye?
Life hurts sometimes.
Expectations we hold are a big contributor to hurt.
It is transforming these perceived hurts that we grow, like the tree, the plant, the clouds that scurry or dwell overhead.
All we have is now.
By being present in this very moment is how we change our perception of hurts and overcome our past mind conditioning. It is by becoming thoughtless we transform ourselves and our surroundings. It is by appreciation of all we have been through and witnessed that we encounter the spell of the thoughtless mind.
Face the grief.
Grief keeps us locked up.
Inhabit the pain.
Pain keeps us prisoner.
Shame rules our life until we are ready to face ourselves through the mirror of others.
By overthinking, our mind distorts the present moment and brings the past and future to rule the moment now. We become separate from what is really happening now!
Love the grief, the blame, the shame. Realize it is not ours to carry. When we let it go we are free to be here now. Love is acceptance, relinquishing the hurt for the greater good of all. We are all!
When we reparent ourselves, slow down to feel the inward hurt without judgement, we begin to understand ourselves and recognize our patterns of behaviour. We begin to play again, and let our troubles and resentments go; in essence we release our blockages to true happiness. Reparenting takes incredible tenderness, patience and time.
Guilt is not love. Oh, it appears to be alright. Guilt is a sneaky partner that often disguises itself as love. Guilt is passed along to our friends, partners, children until we reveal the truth beneath the disguise. Guilt we took on from our past, our parents, the world at large.
In essence, we bribe ourselves and others to make us feel better, all the while the truth is we belittle ourselves and those around us by our behaviour, lowering our own self-esteem and relinquishing our power. We don’t live our truth, we live our guilt and shame historically and repeat and repeat these things over and over again to ourselves and others in lieu of the truth. When we don’t show up for ourself, speak our truth even though we know it may disappoint, the truth is, we take on the disappointment. When we begin to see others as ourselves we understand this truth.
The truth is love! Love is acceptance! Love is accepting our own past behaviours and mind conditioning and living now. Love is forgiveness. It doesn’t mean we continue to accept toxic behaviours. It means we forgive the past, so we can live in peace now. Now is love! Love isn’t pleasing, oh no it is not. Love is tough and strong and, yes, love can be soft and tender too. To know when each of these opposites is needed, we must place our trust in ourselves and our inner knowing. When we have learned not to trust ourselves, through trauma and survival mechanisms, it takes some time in solitude and silence to undo and reprogram the mind and body to trust ourselves again. It takes time to open up to our built-in homing device that will bring us home to our heart, the truth of being a human.
I passed along guilt and shame on my journey because I was carrying it. I would dress it up in pretty things, gifting guilt and shame to everyone including my family, and my child. Remember, love is an energy exchange.
We cannot give without receiving. If we do we end up feeling empty. We cannot receive without giving for this seems to bring guilt. What about a simple heartfelt acknowledgement, thank you and acceptance of the gift of love? To open one’s heart to another is the greatest gift of all, vulnerability. The gift of one’s time and attention in the moment is priceless. There is no other place to be, but here, now.
We benefit no one by not living our truth. It is deep work this revealing the truth of our existence. Re-parenting ourselves to wholeness of being takes patience, time and forgiveness.
Let us begin now. Each moment is a new beginning.
Yours In Grace,